“Only Give What You Want Most.”

happy, reindeer, give, what you want most

Have you heard someone tell you to “Only give what you want most”?

Since it is the first day of Winter and we are getting closer to Christmas and the beginning of Hanukkah (nod to my readers who celebrate the holidays), I wanted to look into this idea for one of my featured posts. However, it doesn’t look like this is a famous saying at all, although I’ve heard of it.

This is a stupid little rant but please bear with me. I’m talking part in Write Anything Wednesday, doggone-it!


Where Have I Heard It?

I only really heard this said two times. I’m not sure how old I was when I first heard it, but one of those times was definitely on television.

On a kid’s show, one boy was giving away some of his toys to charity for Christmas. He evaluated all his toys and decided to give away his favorite toy, citing the “rule.”


Why Don’t I Like This Idea?

To be honest, I’ve always had a problem with the idea of only giving what one wants most, provided one is giving away their possessions. Why?

For one thing, I don’t see the point. Of course, giving a toy to a child who might otherwise have no gifts is a nice thing to do. It could make that kid’s day. But should it come at the cost of making the giver miserable or slightly peeved?

I know if I was a kid, I wouldn’t want to give away my favorite toy. It might sound selfish, but if I gave that away, there would be no point in me keeping the other toys. You might as well just take all of them since I won’t be able to have much enjoyment from them (without my favorite).

Secondly, what if the other person is receiving something they don’t necessarily want (or need) it? I know, that might sound ungrateful on the other person’s part, but the act of giving is more purposeful if a person is given something they want or need.

I mean, it’s not like a husband buying a brand new drill for his wife because he wants it, knowing full well she doesn’t do any handy work around the house. You know he fully expects her to let him have it. That’s pretty selfish, right?

In the case of giving a prized possession, the intent is the opposite, but it could be pointless if the recipient doesn’t accept it anyway.

Third, what if the person’s most prized possession was a gift? Then that person would be asked to re-gift something. That’s pretty tacky. 😕


Who Said It Is Best To Give What One Wants Most?

I question why someone would come up with this rule in the first place. Part of me suspects someone made this up because they coveted another person’s Christmas present. Hmm … 💡

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4 thoughts on ““Only Give What You Want Most.”

  1. I agree.

    One of the things I disliked most about my ex husband was that he always got me gifts that he liked but were useless to me. (Like getting the sports channels on direct TV saying he’d spend more time at home.) Seriously??? It was like he didn’t even know me at all.

    Getting me Acorn TV or BBC America yes, but I am not into sports (unless my children were the ones playing on the field.) And ironically, my children “get me” (even when they were little) and would make or draw or later on purchase something they knew I’d love. (Like a Sherlock Holmes book or something by Jane Austen. )

    My husband Never got me anything that showed he even took the time to consider me or understood me. I finally cut out pictures of things and posted several options on the refrigerator before my birthday or anniversary and he still didn’t get the message. At holiday time I eventually told him to stop with the gifts. I wasn’t ungrateful, but I figured I’d rather he save the money than get me a gift he wanted and that was useless to me.

    That gift concept is ridiculous unless you know both people have similar tastes. I used to get my sister really cool tops or purses until it finally dawned on me that she was much more conservative than I and probably never liked much of my avant-garde taste and didn’t use or wear my gifts often.

    So I believe a really thoughtful gift is “knowing” who you are getting the gift for. If you don’t, then skip it or get them a gift card so they can pick out their own gift.

    OR do what room mothers Do for teachers. They’d give me a list every year and have me answer questions about my hobbies, my favorite stores, favorite color,favorite dessert etc. It worked out beautifully. I taught 36 years and had the most thoughtful parents on earth!!!

    If you want someone to feel appreciated and special, get them something from the heart. A poem and a rose means much more than a blender any day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this comment. I didn’t how this post would be received, but I hit on a few important things.

      No one has really given me things they wanted for themselves, but I have seen people do that to others. It’s the pits.

      The point of giving is to make someone happy, to make sure they get what they want, or to make sure they get what they need. It should be about that person.

      When I have purchase gifts for others, I may have to work on a budget, but I try my best to get them something they would like. Sometimes, that works out fairly well.

      And like you said, sometimes the simplest gifts are the best.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I prefer to gift others with things I feel sure they would enjoy having. In order to do this, I feel I need to know them. For instance I gave my girl friend’s daughter a handbag I found because she has a love of handbags. I didn’t particularly like it, but she loved it. And it was from a resale shop.

    I will also give practical gifts that I may have purchased for myself, and think a friend or relative might also like. I have one and they have one. I may not share that I have one too.

    Rarely do I surrender my favorite things as they have special meaning to me, and most likely won’t have the same effect on another.

    This Christmas I am going to take my silver jewelry up to my mother’s and offer it to her foster girls. I wore it at one point, but realize I prefer gold jewelry better. I hope their eyes light up when they get to pick through it, and might tell them which I really liked once upon a time.

    No gold will be leaving my house.

    All Christmas or birthday gifts are purchased unique to the receiver!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Precisely.

      When you give a gift, it’s best to think about the recipient. Sometimes, you might be able to ask what they like or they will tell you up front. I like the latter, provided I can afford the gift. It feels good to know the recipient appreciates the gift (and can put it to use).

      I hope those girls like the jewelry!

      Liked by 1 person

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