The Benefits of a New American Order

By Suze

Shmaltz and Menudo’s Note: Today, we will change up things for a bit. Instead of my long-winded Write Anything Wednesday Post, I will let Suze share her thoughts on this 2016 Presidential Election (U.S.).

I know we are all completely sick to death of hearing about the election, but I just want to take a few moments to assure all of us that there may indeed be blessings to be found in Mr. Trump becoming our 45th President. I am calling it the New American Order.

Now before you all scream “shut up Suze!” listen for just a moment. There are benefits that we may be totally missing in our abhorrence of this perverted, disgusting man. Let us just try to find some, shall we?

1. Women will be encouraged to choose to stay at home in their kitchens and taking care of their children.  This could be a good thing. You may now have a job you just hate and really want to stay at home.  So, the new mandate by the president elect that you now are no longer allowed to work outside your home unless you are a child care worker or a teacher is a great joy to you! Just think about the wonderful meals you will be privileged to make! Won’t your hubby be thrilled to have you meet him at the front door after his long day at work? Make it a nicer experience by wearing a frilly and clean apron! Be sure your stockings are straight and you are wearing those sexy heals too! Your life will be so much better.
2. All our people of color will be thrilled with their new roles in government, starting with the custodial job openings in each state capital. Many, many jobs at government expense and with government insurance! High pay for those jobs; really, really high pay!
3. Christianity will be named as the National religion which is sure to please so many, many people. It doesn’t matter what that silly old Constitution says after all. It is old and just not needed anymore. Be prepared to change whichever style of Christianity you espouse though. There is only one kind that is correct. Hopefully you already own a pet snake as they are a necessary part of the worship service.
4. The wearing of a scarf on ladies heads will be outlawed.  No, we are not so much concerned with a religious reason for wearing one. They are just too old fashioned. Melania won’t wear a scarf so therefore neither should the middle class. If the scarf ban annoys Muslims or Jews or NUNS then we do so humbly apologise, but the ban will remain.
5. A new Citizen Conservation Corps will be developed to fix our Nation’s infrastructure.  They will all receive a uniform consisting of a pair of overalls and a ballcap saying “I made America great again”. Our new Wall between Mexico and the States will be their first priority. Hispanics need not apply for the new CCC as they aren’t trusted to stay on this side of it and keep their dollars here.
6. Gays, Lesbians, Trans, Bi’s, etc will all have to move to Canada.  There will be no same-sex marriages anymore. No adoptions of orphans by gays. Businesses that wish to provide services to Gays will have to display a large rainbow on their front doors.

Now, granted this is just a very small list of the wonderful and fulfilling benefits of a Trump presidency, but aren’t you feeling so much better now?

The thoughts expressed are those of the author (although they may give us a chuckle.)