I Really Suck at Twitter (WAW)

For this Write Anything Wednesday (screw you, Greenwich Mean Time!), I thought I would talk about one problem I have online.

As the title says, I really such at Twitter, bros. It’s true. I’m horrible at it.

While I do have an online presence in plenty of other avenues, Twitter is the one I’m most uncomfortable with. And I’ve tried my best to avoid it for the longest time.

I was aware of Twitter’s presence since 2009, as even Claire McCaskill (@clairecmc) — a Democratic Senator from Missouri — was seen using it to post during the State of the Union address. While this might help people like her get in touch with constituents and other U.S. citizens with the touch of a finger, I felt no need to get involved. I got a new computer a year later but felt no need to join Twitter. And I went 5 more years and another computer later but never felt the need to join.

I scoffed at Twitter. When I heard that it was a platform where users could use up to 140 characters, I scoffed at the notion. “Only 140 characters?! That’s not enough for me. Surely only inconsequential thoughts could come from strictly limited characters.”

I scoffed at Sen. McCaskill using Twitter during that State of the Union Address. “Why don’t you pay attention to your president, instead of tweeting? You were there!”

When my nephew started using it, I questioned just how many people would be interested in the minute rantings of some kid. “Really? How many followers do you have? You have 250 in such a short time? And that includes some professors and a comedian? Why are they following you?”

I finally joined Twitter late last year.

Kicking and screaming.

For work purposes.

As myself.

But with a different username.

And I hate using it because I don’t know how. I don’t know what to post, how to start a conversation, or where to start.

Really, the way I joined was as clumsy as ever. I couldn’t decide whether to use an alias all around and just join as me. But I would need to join as me for professional purposes, right?

Then I had to choose an @ username. This took some time because I wanted to do three things at once: promote myself, promote some projects I’ve worked on, and merge everything into one boat since I didn’t want to manage TWO OR MORE Twitter accounts. That took some doing and even then, I wasn’t entirely happy with it.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Twitter said. “You can always change it.”

But I was stuck with it for the most part. I had to join and subscribe to some shows on Blab.IM, which is still working on the kinks in a beta version, but I couldn’t change my username there for some reason. I was even mentioned in a post by a Blab host, so I was stuck that way, too. And I still went back and changed my username temporarily to my real name, and got mentioned in a post then! Sigh.

Every now and then, I will go and look at the site. How am I doing? Not good, tbqh.

I don’t know what to write and I can’t keep followers. I am hovering around 4-6 followers currently. (The Bloggers Meetup even found me somehow and started following me. For how long?)

Some of my first followers…I can’t tell you why the hell they followed me in the first place. But it sucks whenever I see the total number drop. Those people who followed then unfollowed me are teases. 😡

I’ve only asked one person for advice. “Follow my example,” he says. NO.

I don’t want to use an alias or manage two accounts [for two different purposes.] I really can’t find much too much to say in the format, even about current events. I often draw a blank. And I wouldn’t even want to jump into controversial topics given how many Twitstorms have started on that site, just one thing Twitter is known for and why some people hate it — and that’s just another reason why I tried to avoid it as long as I did.

Now, I guess I still need it for business purposes. Studies have shown that businesses want people to have a social media presence. I’m following the company I work for on Twitter and I would do that for any company I worked for. How do I make it work for me, though?

I’m utterly clueless.